Good Gravy Peace is Hard!

So about two weeks ago, I embarked on a journey – a journey of soulful exploration, learning, and enlightenment.  A journey destined to change the course of my personal history forever, setting me on the path to self-actualization.

Well, not really.  I had been thinking a lot about the concept of Peace, and I thought I’d try an experiment – 30 days of Peace.  That being, 30 days where I personally try to make my world, and the world around me, more peaceful.  My strategy was as follows:

·         Remain calm in times of stress

·         Don’t over-react to external conditions, or actions or behaviors of others

·         Be nice – spread happiness (some people might say “share love” here, but that feels kind of hippy-dippy to me.  I guess I’m not totally emotionally secure yet.  But that’s the general concept I was going for).

So at the mid-point, here’s what I’ve learned – Peace is freaking hard!

It takes a lot of discipline and restraint because nearly every day there’s something that can disrupt peace. Frustrating news of the world, problems at work, sassy children, family squabbles (some of which I even initiate – shocking right?).  And that’s just me trying to maintain peace in my own little world.  I can understand why world leaders are so easily drawn into conflict.  It’s much easier – and in some ways more immediately emotionally gratifying – to engage in a dispute, argue, yell, rage and fight back, then it is trying to seek a calm, peaceful outcome.

But therein lies the dilemma.  At least for me anyway.  It’s that word – immediate.  Yes, in the moment of stress and/or conflict, it can be a natural and impulsive instinct to respond in kind – to fight fire with fire.  But inevitably, there’s remorse knowing that was the wrong reaction.  That it’s not in alignment* with my personal goals and values.

So, peace is hard. Being peaceful is hard.  You’d think a concept that is in some ways about tranquility and harmony would be easy.  Well, not for me it ain’t.**  It requires discipline, concentration, and most of all, commitment.

So, lesson learned.  I’ll keep working at it.  Like I said at the outset – it’s a journey.

*(ha, I worked a business buzz-word into my blog!)

**(intentionally reckless use of improper grammar alert)

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My Peace Reminder

A while ago I came up with this acronym to help remind me how I want to behave as a dad (and as part of my continuing efforts to find peace - ooommmmmm).  I used the first letter of each of my daughter's names...P.C.E.

Patient
Caring
Encouraging

I'm far from a perfect parent - I'd say I'm about average.  So I use this little trick to remind me of how I want to behave - especially when I'm getting a little stressed, or unsure of what to do.  This can be particularly helpful with my oldest daughter - who I tell frequently - "Every mistake I make as a parent, I make on you first."  And unfortunately, in those instances, sometimes my acronym turns out to be:

Petty
Churlish*
Erratic

Well, it's a good thing I've got that little reminder, huh?

*Look at me using vocabulary! OK. I confess, I found it on thesaurus.com

Ooh.  I just realized that if I rearrange the letters like this - PEC - it kinda looks like peace! Sweet.

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